Judgement
- André Bruggeling
- 14 jun
- 3 minuten om te lezen
A friendly spring sun in the Meer en Bos estate, wedged between the Laan van Meerdervoort, Kijkduinsestraat, and Machiel Vrijehoeklaan in The Hague. A large park with a big pond, streams, and a protected bird island. Popular among the residents of the Bohemen neighborhood and especially dog owners. It’s Monday afternoon, and the sun is shining on the bench where I have settled down, with my notebook and mobile phone at hand. Occasionally, I look up at passing walkers, with and without dogs, sometimes offering a friendly "good afternoon" or a nod to passersby. And, yes, even a kingfisher briefly shows itself from the overgrown bank of the bird island. I hadn’t seen or noticed it, too engrossed in my phone, when the following is said: “Yes, that’s nice too!” I look up and see a gentleman passing by, without a dog. Whether he looked at me or not, I do not know, as his gaze is directed forward down the path. Somewhat unsure, I glance around to see if there are other passersby, but no, it’s just between the gentleman and me.
The gentleman’s idyll is disturbed. An estate meant for observing and enjoying nature and the sounds that accompany it, which the gentleman finds himself entitled to. Where there is no place for that damned mobile phone. And certainly not here, in this estate, and the gentleman could not contain his emotion in casually pointing that out to me. In an initial impulse, my thought was: “What’s it to you, do you even know what I’m doing?” Not a beautiful or noble thought, and I regret it as soon as I think it. We do not know each other, and I realize that my thought is an impulse, just like the gentleman’s. Action - reaction, judgment - condemnation.
The reaction (of the gentleman) arises from an expectation that does not fit his image. This makes the situation, however banal it may be with that mobile phone, uncertain, because imagine if along the entire path through the estate people are only focused on their mobile phones: where has the ambiance of the estate gone? Why is this changing? It provokes, as a situation threatens to arise that endangers the current status quo. It creates uncertainty and, for that reason alone, generates resistance and stress.
Changes are constant. That is a certainty. How, when, and whether we should respond to change depends on many factors, including which action is appropriate to meet the change, for better or for worse. In this battleground, the human being stands with an urgency to regain control. Regardless of whether this (always) is necessary (the control), we must be able to act appropriately instead of succumbing to stress, burnout, or other undesirable circumstances that undermine our well-being and put us at a disadvantage.
At that moment, it is nice if we can look ourselves in the mirror, as much as possible without judgment, without condemnation, to see and accept, a factual check-up of ourselves. Accepting what the impact of the change is on you and from there being able to make decisions to do (nothing) or take action. This is not a one-time exercise; change is constant, requiring a recurring look at yourself to continue making the right steps or adjustments. In the Slowtraveler program, this is a pillar, an anchor, integrated into a foundation for lasting movement.
